The Plan
by Jonsdottir
Summary: Valentines suck. Jim decides that the only way to get rid of annoying propositions is to fake a relationship with Spock. Now all they have to do is get caught in a compromising position by someone in the crew so the word will spread. Piece of cake. Right?
1. The Plan

(Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership to any part of the Star Trek franchise.)

During this story, there will be references to a story I have yet to finish. It is called 'A series of Unfortunate Misunderstandings' and it will contain a number of one-shots that will make a few things a bit clearer. Do not worry, this story is supposed to leave you a bit confused about details as it is the way Spock and Jim experience it.

Thank you for reading.

The Plan

Large green eyes stared up at him expectantly, a sanguine smile playing on plump pink lips. She appeared to be confident, only the slightly nervous way she was twirling a lock of brown hair around her finger showed uncertainty.

Standing straight, arms behind his back he looked into her eyes and pushed the small spark of annoyance into submission. "I have to decline your invitation. I am Vulcan, and as such I see no logic in celebrating the death of a priest who helped Christians in Rome while under the reign of Claudius II. The logic of this event eludes me further as the man in question was sentenced to death and was stoned and clubbed before he was beheaded. I see no logic in associating his death to romanticism, nor do I see the logic in receiving or giving efflorescence or confectionery. If you would please indicate what made you believe I would partake in such foolish and nonsensical practices, I will change my behavior accordingly." He waited for an answer, but none was given. She was staring at him wide-eyed, her mouth slightly gaping and doing a rather impressive job of looking utterly rebuked.

"If that was all, please excuse me, I have matters to attend." he nods before walking past the woman and continued towards the bridge. He might have been a little... breviloquent with yeoman Bates, but he had been propositioned a total of six times since 07:30, which was quite considerable seeing as it was now half past eleven.

And that only counted today.

Spock was beginning to find it taxing to repeat the same statement over and over, therefore it had... evolved over time. What had started as a simple 'I must decline. I see no logic in celebrating a day based off of baseless myths that include multiple saints and has no real correlation to February fourteenth' had now changed considerably.

The tiny spark of annoyance flared up again as he entered the bridge. He had during the last seven point two-six days been accosted thirty-nine point four times. Point four only because he had on one occasion ignored a nurse trying to invite him to celebrate the very illogical day of Saint Valentine, and simply walked past her as she spoke to him. He was beginning to feel a most illogical aversion to the jubilee.

How peculiar.

He nodded to Lt Commander Uhura and sat down at his science station, beginning to recalibrate the sensor readings since it was apparent that they were _not _the way they were when he left the console at the end of his last shift. His jaw set sternly as he repeated the last frequencies before he was done. He understood if his relief wanted their own settings, but he believed it was pure courtesy to change back whatever you had altered.

Not for all, evidently.

He was just about to check for the latest report as the doors opened and an amused James Kirk entered the bridge.

"Morning. Hey, I just saw yeoman Bates crying in the hallway, do you happen to know anything about that, Spock?"

Spock froze for a second before straightening his back and turning around in his chair, giving his Captain a cold look. "I have no knowledge of what you are inferring, Captain."

This made Jim's grin wider. "Of course not. How silly of me." he said jovially as he took his seat.

"Indeed." Spock said as he returned his attention to his controls and decided to read the new status reports, again, before handing them to the Captain.

OoOxXxOoO

Once their shift was over, Jim stretched his back leisurely. God, how good it felt to be able to _move_. He loved his job, really, but these tedious missions where they had to do nothing but _observe_ were beginning to irritate him.

It didn't really help that whenever he tried to address the issue with Admiral Pike, he'd just get the proverbial pat on the head and a speech of 'proper proceedings as a newly appointed Starship Captain'.

Screw that!

Jim had helped to save _Earth_ for crying out loud! He had amounted to more before he was officially appointed captain than most Starfleet officers did their whole lives! He was sure it was a conspiracy against him.

He sighed as he entered the turbolift. Not doing anything stressed him out, however stupid it sounded. He was a man of action, not a man of... silent contemplating. That was Spock. It didn't exactly help matters when he got hit on, or got propositioned for an evening of 'hot, steamy sex and perhaps some chocolate thrown in'. Okay, no one had actually said that, but it was _implied_.

More than once.

He didn't exactly know how to deal with the throngs of suitors, male and female, following him around, begging for a Valentine's pity-fuck. It didn't help no matter how often he said he would _not_ get involved with a crewmember, and especially not for some fling or a quick fuck in the maintenance closet.

What he needed was to get the freaking point across. So what if he had a reputation of screwing anything that moved? It's not like he'd throw away his credibility as a Captain just to get laid. And most of those rumors were exaggerated anyway.

Sure, he'd slept around, but what red-blooded young adult/man hasn't?

He slouched against the wall, realizing he had forgotten to enter his destination on the panel. No wonder nothing happened. He sighed once more and pressed to go to his quarters.

As he walked down the corridor he suddenly realized the solution to his problems.

Of course!

He turned around and begun walking in the opposite direction.

Hopefully he'd get the cooperation he needed without too much protesting. After all, the plan was _awesome_.

OoOxXxOoO

As soon as the door opened to Spock's quarters, Jim had the sinking feeling that he had just made the biggest mistake in his life. He and Spock had begun a tentative friendship a couple of months back, and here he was, ready to destroy it all on a whim.

He swallowed and plastered on the brightest fake smile he could muster, grinning at Spock as the impassive face of his First Officer appeared.

"Captain." he said, an eyebrow raising questioningly.

"Hi there, Spock." Jim said, trying to beat down the nervousness rising in his chest. Was he really going to do this? What if he screwed everything up? No. Spock would be too logical to hold it against him; after all, it was only a means to an end. A harmless deception. Probably.

"Is there anything you require?"

Jim looked up and down the corridor before turning to Spock again. "Yeah, um... Can I come in?" he lifted a hand, pointing to the interior of the cabin.

Spock took a step aside, letting Jim walk inside. The door closing with a soft 'woosh'.

Clearing his throat Jim looked around the cabin. He had been in here before, but only briefly, or he'd been too preoccupied to muse about interior design. Although there wasn't much to say about Spock's quarters, they were virtually the same as his own. Walls a muted color, clean surfaces void of personal trinkets and other such illogical objects.

"Did you have a purpose coming here, Captain?"

Jim snapped around, sheepish grin on his face. "Well, you see..." he trailed off, not entirely sure how to approach the subject. He then decided to implement the same tactic he used on every other aspect of his life. Head on bluntness.

Here it goes.

Okay, now.

Wait, this time he _means it_.

Now.

"It seems like you're a very sought-after man, Spock. All those women practically begging you to spend Valentine's with them." he said, hoping there was no embarrassment seeping into his voice.

Spock, once again, raised the eyebrow of 'you-are-not-worthy-of-breathing-my-air,-you-illogical,-foolish-human'. "I am unsure what relevance that particular statement has to this conversation, Captain."

"Well, Spock, I have also gotten a number of... eh... suitors, because, let's face it, I'm awesome." Jim grins, sitting down in one of the chairs, leaning back and crossing his legs, ignoring the voice in his head that called at him in Spock's voice: 'Out of the chair.'. Shaking his head he continued. "As Captain, though, I can't... fraternize... with my junior staff in that manner, so I have a suggestion to make them get off of both our backs."

There was a moment of silence, and Jim thought he might have to repeat himself when Spock spoke. "Captain, if you are suggesting that the two of us are to appear as a... couple..."

"You got it in one, Spock. I'm impressed." Jim drawled, cutting Spock off before he could start telling him how illogical he was acting.

"Captain, it is not proper protocol for members of the command crew to fraternize in such a manner." Spock protests, somehow his impassive face looking admonishing.

Jim rolls his eyes and sighs. "It's not against any regulations, either, so it's technically okay. Besides, we'll only be pretending for like... a day!"

"It is not the duration of our perceived... I believe the human word is tryst, that is the problem, Captain."

Jim was growing impatient. Why didn't Spock just say what he wanted to say already? "Then what is the problem?"

"It would seem quite unprofessional of two commanding officers to engage in such brief encounters of seemingly sexual nature." Spock said, straightening his back further, if possible.

Running a hand through his hair Jim grinned up at his First Officer. "So you're afraid we'll be pegged as people of loose morals or something? Spock, I hate to break it to you, but I kinda _am_."

The look Jim received as a reply was a clear indication that Spock was _not_ amused.

"Being perceived as salacious is not the pertinent issue, Captain."

"Then, for the love of god! Tell me what is!" Jim growls, standing up, glaring at Spock's emotionless face.

"Unprofessional is not something I, to use Terran terminology, 'do'." The steady, dark gaze made Jim all but want to throw his hands up in surrender.

"Come on. Do you want to get rid of those annoying girls or not? Just pretend that we're dating through Valentine's and they'll get the message!"

"What makes you so certain that I will play along in this deception of homosexuality?" Spock asked, wanting to know his Captain's reasoning, and not for the first time.

"Because you are just as tired as I am of this situation. I've been propositioned five times today, two of which were _very_ hands on, leaving me quite uncomfortable." he admits, pointedly staring at a book on a shelf to the right of Spock's shoulder.

"It appears we are of similar dispositions."

Jim grins. "You got your ass squeezed, too?"

Once more there is a flash of irritation in Spock's dark eyes, but it disappears too fast for Jim to see if it was real or just his imagination. "Hardly."

"Okay, okay." Jim laughs and shakes his head. "Are you in or not? Because you _will_ be hunted down all of tomorrow if we do nothing."

"I suppose there might be some logic in your argument. I agree to your proposed deception."

"Yes! Sweet." Jim cheers in triumph, almost taking a leap of joy, but Spock's disapproving glare made him halter in his steps. "I mean... eh... good?"

"Good is an unacceptable expression as the word 'good' has several definitions. I also find no logic in your outburst claiming the palatable reaction to dextrose. Most illogical."

"Whatever." Ignoring Spock's raised eyebrow Jim begins to walk around the cabin, muttering to himself. "Okay, we need a plan... plan, plan, plan..."

"If I may interject, Captain, I require clarification on the status of our... relationship."

"Um... together?"

"Obviously. I wish to know what kind of relationship we are to portray. Do you not believe the crew will be highly suspicious if we just announce that our relationship now has a romantic component to it, especially since we have never appeared romantically involved prior to that event? There might be those who question our position." Spock said, trying to make the Captain understand his intention.

"I guess you're right. What do you suggest?"

"I would suggest we clarify our situation."

Jim sighs. "And what, pray tell, _is _our situation Enlighten me, please."

"We have for the past several months hidden our relationship due to personal reasons and are only now prepared to inform others about it."

Jim looks at Spock, a grin on his face. "You know, that might actually work."

Spock ignores the Captain's playful slap on his shoulder, probably a display of Terran male-bonding or some other illogical nonsense. "It is immensely more logical than us just waking up one day, deciding to, as you humans would phrase it, 'suck face'."

"Oh my god!" Jim exclaims, his eyes wide in disbelief. "Say you didn't just say 'suck face'! I can't believe it!"

Once again Spock feels that the only proper response is to ignore it. "It is also a good idea for the relationship to seem less... casual, should word reach my father. A short sexual relationship with my superior officer would be highly illogical. Especially if it was to be made known to Starfleet, which may reflect badly on my position, or if word got to my father. He would be most displeased at such irrational behavior."

"You're afraid your dad is gonna chew you out? You're a grown man for crying out loud! You can sleep with whoever you want as long as it's consensual, Spock." Jim could hear his words were clearly mocking his First Officer, he flinched as he received Spock's stern gaze in reply.

"I am not referring to any disciplinary actions on my father's part, rather from Starfleet. I may be assigned to another vessel if they believe our actions may jeopardize the mission, the Enterprise or the crew." he stated coldly.

Jim paled. "Oh, shit. Didn't really think of that." He ran a hand across his face before looking up at Spock. "How long do you suppose we should have been dating, then?"

"The bare minimum should be six months. Seeing as my relationship with Uhura lasted eight months, may I suggest that we, if specifically asked, state a similar period of time?"

"Sure. I don't see why not. I mean, if it ever came back to Starfleet Command it would be better if it was more committed. That way they _probably_ won't fire me." After a second Jim's eyes snapped to Spock's once more. "Oh, shit. If your dad ever finds out, he'll totally hate me more than he already does! Plus, if your dad could hear about it, my mom might, too. She'll definitely think I've gone mental, being in a 'committed relationship' for eight months." Jim slumped back into the chair.

"I doubt my father would hate you." Spock began, Jim looked up from where he had hid his face in his hands, a doubtful look in his eyes. "It is illogical to hold resentment for another person because of events that can not be changed."

"Yeah, sure. Illogical or not, I bet he does!" the Captain pouted, leaning back into the chair.

Spock pointedly ignored the childish behavior of the man sitting four feet away. "We should proceed with our original topic of discussion." he urged.

"Sure... what was it?"

Spock holds back the highly illogical urge to sigh. "You were trying to compose a plan of action for tomorrow, Captain."

"Yeah, right." Jim frowns, trying to think of something. "Okay, we'll need to be seen in compromising situations by someone who'll spread it around the ship. Or just show a bit of 'public' affection."

"Please clarify the level of affection you have calculated we need." Spock said stiffly. He was not feeling too comfortable with the words 'public' and 'affection' in the same sentence.

Jim shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno. Hugging? Kissing? Maybe holding hands." He looked over at Spock, seeing his rigid frame his grin faltered slightly. "Why? Is that a problem?"

"Negative. Although I find the thought of kissing you in any fashion highly disturbing I shall prevail."

"Disturbing? I'll tell you I'm extremely sought after and women adore me! What the hell would be so disturbing about kissing me? It's not like I have halitosis or anything." the Captain asked, baffled, as if the thought of him being anything less than completely irresistible had never entered his mind. Knowing Jim, it probably never had.

"I am Vulcan, we are not known for sharing intimate moments with people we are not currently in a relationship with, neither do I find the thought of being intimate with a male especially pleasing."

"Wow. Really? I thought Vulcans were all 'I'm attracted to their mind, not their physical sex'. Or something." Jim furrowed his brows, trying to remember what he had learned in that xenobiology class at the Academy, although he had to admit that he hardly paid any attention to what the teacher had said since he had been far too busy staring at the beautiful Eymorgian, picturing her in various different... scenarios.

"In general, but I have never felt any, however fleeting, attraction towards a male."

"Then I guess this will be an interesting experience for you."

"Indeed." His voice was void of any emotion, but Spock could feel that now familiar spark of annoyance trying to surface. He was beginning to connect that particular emotion to the Captain. Not very surprising. If Vulcans felt surprise, that is...

"But are you sure you can actually go through with this. With me, I mean?" It wasn't as if Jim hadn't kissed men before, but he didn't want there to be any kind of weirdness between them that might affect how they worked together. Affecting the friendship that had slowly built up during this past year.

"Although I hold no attraction towards you, I have previously engaged in sexual activities focused solely on mutual release, not attraction." The admission was a little too personal for Spock's liking, but it seemed as if the Captain had a way of pulling information out of him that he would not usually divulge. It... _annoyed_ him.

"That sounded suspiciously like you said you have one night stands." Jim held in a chuckle as he looked at Spock expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate, or deny, whichever came first.

Not wanting to linger on the subject, Spock felt it prudent to steer the conversation in another direction. "May I suggest we continue on the matter at hand instead of idle conversation?"

"Smooth transition. Hardly noticed it." Jim laughed, rolling his eyes.

"Captain." Spock's voice was terse and he seemed to have little patience for Jim's antics.

"Hm?"

"Is there anything else you wish to discuss, Captain?"

Spock raises a brow at the Captain's large sigh.

"Jim."

"Excuse me?"

"Call me Jim! If you're my lover, you wouldn't address me as 'Captain' when we're alone, unless you're into that?" He grins at the appalled look Spock was currently sporting. Well, as appalled as an emotionless Vulcan could be.

"Jim." Spock said, his voice low and dark, actually sending shivers down Jim's back.

Jim gave Spock a shaky smile, trying to ignore the pleasant feeling of the Vulcan's voice as it said his name. "See, easy, wasn't it?"

"Is there anything else, Jim?"

This time successfully suppressing the shudder as he had been (almost) prepared, Jim nodded. "Yeah. We should attempt a display of public affection at breakfast. There are a lot of people starting Alpha shift tomorrow as they'd rather have the evening free."

"I see. I'll meet you in the mess at 06:30."

"Awesome. See you then." Jim smiled brightly as he turned to leave, too busy planning their next move to pay attention to where he was going. Not noticing the small, round glass pearl, he stepped on it, making him lose balance and he stumbled backwards.

Noticing his captains plight, Spock reached out and grabbed Jim's arm, making his body turn and swing to the right like a pendulum. With a cry of pain he collided with one of the sharp corners of Spock's desk as it dug painfully into the side of his butt.

"Son of a bitch! That hurts!" he yells out, gritting his teeth and pressing the palm of his free hand into his eyes as if trying to block the pain from his mind.

"Are you okay, Captain?" Spock wondered, his tone clipped and it sounded almost... worried.

Jim grunted. Perfect. The pain was causing him to hear hallucinations. He shook his head. "My ass has seen better days, but I'm fine. Just won't be able to sit properly for a year. Fuck!"

This time when Spock spoke, his voice was the same as normal, void of emotions. "I assume you are exaggerating as humans are prone to do."

"Okay, fine. Maybe just a bit, but I assure you it hurts like hell." His breathing came out in short, harsh breaths as he tried to focus on something else, willing the pain to go away, relaxing his body as he moved away from the desk. Once his breathing evened out Jim opened his eyes.

"I have never understood that particular expression as it merely refers to a mythical, religious place for deceased. Dead can feel no pain, therefore the saying is redundant."

"Of course it is." Jim winces as he tentatively takes a step, only to realize Spock is still holding his wrist in an iron grip. He looks down at the large hand, then he looks up at his First Commander. "Um... would you mind letting go of my hand before I get another bruise? The one from the Jeffries-tube incident hasn't disappeared yet."

Spock immediately lets go of Jim's arm and takes a step back, placing his hands behind his back once again. "I apologize."

"S'okay, thanks for the help. Well, I'll see you tomorrow then?" he asks, gingerly walking up to the door.

Spock nods, leaning down to retrieve the small glass ball and placing it back into the bowl from where it must have fallen from. He was thankful the Captain.. no, Jim, had not been seriously injured.

Not knowing what to say unless wanting to repeat himself, Jim merely opened the door and walks out of Spock's quarters. After the first few, quite painful feet, Jim could walk pretty well without a too noticeable limp.

God. His crew must think him to be the clumsiest captain in the history of captains! It wasn't enough he just got his ass viciously mauled by a desk, he also had a large bruise forming on his wrist, probably shaping into a nice rendition of Spock's hand.

On his way to his quarters he saw McCoy standing in the corridor, running a tricorder over an ensign who looked slightly singed and unsteady. James walked up to them, peering over the ensigns shoulder.

"Hiya Bones. What'cha doin'?"

"I'm having tea and biscuits, and ensign Powell is telling me all about the latest season of Cricket, obviously." McCoy drawled, not looking up from his tricorder.

"That sounds like fun. Want some company?" Jim grinned at the ensigns confused expression before thumping him on the shoulder and moving to stand besides McCoy.

McCoy sighed and tucked away his tricorder, giving Powell a small bottle of pills. "Take two of these if you're beginning to feel light headed and contact sickbay. You're lucky you were only a conduit for the electricity. Be more careful next time, and for god's sake, man, stop fiddling with broken wires when you have no idea what they do!"

The ensign flinched but nodded before taking his pills and all but running away from the doctor before he could get scolded again.

"God, Jim. It seems they get dumber every year! I'm a doctor, not a kindergarten teacher, but you'd never know it with all the idiots coming running to me to kiss their boo-boo's. And you're no exception!"

Ignoring the jibe Jim slung an arm around McCoy's shoulders."Come on, Bones. Cut him some slack. Who hasn't done that?"

McCoy shot Jim an annoyed look, shrugging the arm off like it offended him by its mere presence. "I bet you stuck forks into the wall-sockets, too. You can be happy you weren't roasted at the age of five." Pointing a finger in Jim's face accusingly before shaking his head as he knelt to put away his equipment.

"Don't be like that, life's too short to be dwelling on past mistakes."

Snapping his bag shut, McCoy stood up, eying Jim's collarbone as the collar of the gold shirt was tugged down. "Or present ones. New bruises, Jim?"

Jim looked slightly sheepish, pushing away McCoy's hand from his shirt. "What? That? No, it's ages..."

"Jim, CMO, here." he pointed to himself, his tone of voice suggesting Jim was several degrees of stupid. "I know how the stages of bruises look, and these are new. I'd say two days, but as I'm quite certain the one making them was not completely human, I'm going to say eight hours, tops."

"Okay, okay. I'm a clumsy idiot. Happy now?" Jim said, pouting as he crossed his arms over his chest.

McCoy sighed again. "I already knew that. Anything else while we're on the subject? Anything Spock related?" adding the last part when Jim began to shake his head.

Jim rolled his eyes. "Maybe."

"Spill it."

Not exactly sure what to say Jim shifted his weight from his left foot to his right, flinching and unconsciously rubbing the sore spot on his ass.

McCoy raised a brow. "I see."

"Yeah." Jim coughed.

"Well then, I guess I have to return to sickbay. See you later, Jim." McCoy picked up his bag and began to walk down the hallway.

"Hey! Wait, Bones." he called as he hurried after his friend.

"What?" came the gruff reply.

Jim flashed McCoy a brilliant smile. This did not bode well. Jim only looked like that when he wanted something. With a low growl McCoy stopped and turned to look at Jim, urging him on with a look that clearly stated he didn't have time for games.

"Well, I... um... I was just wondering if you could help me with something?"

McCoy's hazel eyes narrowed dangerously. "What are the rules, Jim?"

Jim sighs and looks away, but McCoy continue to stare him down until the blonde huffs out a 'Fine!'. "You won't 'heal injuries I got during sex or while being an idiot unless they're serious'." he said in a high-pitched girly voice, adding air quotes appropriately, swaying from side to side as he spoke.

McCoy slapped the back of Jim's head, pointedly ignoring the cries of 'Abuse! Anyone see that? Where's a witness when you need one?' "You remembered that at least. But you'd do well to remember that I don't sound anything like the severely disturbed fifteen year old girl you made a grand impression of, or I _will_ come hypo you with Andorian Shingles in your sleep! Understood?" Seeing Jim's reluctant nod and the noticeable pout on his lips made McCoy roll his eyes in annoyance.

"Well, what is it?" He says, already knowing the answer, but asking anyway.

Jim muttered something under his breath before answering, McCoy thought he heard something about 'your mom' and a 'smooth forehead'. He once again ignored the complete and utter craziness that was James T. Kirk. "No, it's not serious. Just uncomfortable."

"Then live with it." the doctor grumbled before continuing down the hallway.

"Hey! It's not my fault Spock's desk is all pointy and vicious. See, I even got this bruise." he pulled up the arm of his shirt, revealing the now purplish bruise in the shape of a hand. "Either he loses control of his strength when he's worked up, or I bruise like that princess with peas in her bed! I'd prefer option one. Just saying." Jim pouted as he waved his arm in McCoy's face.

McCoy just swatted the arm away like it was an annoying insect, ignoring Jim's 'scandalized' look and cries of '_You monster!_'

"Jim, I have no interest in hearing this. I am on my way back to sickbay, go home."

"You're no fun!" Jim whined as he pulled back the sleeve to cover his newest bruise, but once he'd said his goodbyes to McCoy his mind was once again preoccupied with the planning of the next day's events.

Tomorrow was going to be a good day.

OoOxXxOoO

The next morning Jim met Spock outside the mess hall at 06:23. He walked up to his First Officer, a bright smile on his lips in honor of the day. "Good morning Spock. Slept well?"

"My rest was adequate, Captain. I would ask in turn, but you do not seem particularly rested this morning." Spock said, noticing the slight bags under the Captain's eyes.

"Indeed, Spock. Well, ready to make our secret affair slightly less secret?" He asked, motioning to the open doors of the mess, a myriad of voices and clatter from cutlery against plates could be heard clearly.

"Affirmative." As Jim turned to walk inside the room Spock extended his arm, placing a hand on the Captain's biceps, altering his step.

Raising an inquisitive brow, Jim looked own at the exceptionally warm hand on his arm. "Yes?"

"Captain, it would be wise for you to not include animal based proteins in your diet today. If we have to be... public... I would prefer not to ingest any second hand remains." Releasing the Captain's arm, he took a step back.

"Okay, strictly vegetarian kissing, got it. Anything else while we're on the subject? Alfarian hair pasta over broccoli?"

"Negative, Jim."

He flinched at how Spock had made his name sound like an insult. Perhaps one should let sleeping Vulcans lie?

"Um...Since you're a touch telepath and all, do you get readings of my emotions as we're touching?" Jim asked, not sure if he would be entirely comfortable if that was the case.

"Negative. All Vulcans are trained in shielding their minds from an early age. I get no emotional transfer from people I come in contact with unless I seek it out myself, although it is against Vulcan law to go unbidden into another mind unless it is by great necessity." After a seconds thought, Spock spoke once again. "I assume you are aware that Vulcans kiss with their fingers."

"Yeah."

"This," he said, holding up his index and middle fingers pressed together, the rest of his fingers folded into his palm. "is a Vulcan kiss. We then touch the others hand."

"Oh? Like this?" Jim says, mimicking the gesture before pressing his fingertips against Spock's before the Vulcan could either confirm or protest. It seemed simple enough to Jim, kinda cute, actually. But he had not expected the jolt of electricity that shot out from their joined fingers, running through his arm and spreading an incredible, although indescribable feeling throughout his body.

"Wow." he said, slightly breathlessly. "That was... interesting. I can definitely see the appeal of hand kisses now."

Spock removes his fingers from the touch, placing his hands behind his back once more. "Indeed. Shall we?" He was thankful for the years of training that made him able to control the majority of his emotions, otherwise he would have jumped as that delicious spark of... _something_ coursed through his body. He was intrigued as he had not experienced that particular sensation before.

"After you."

Spock nodded and walked into the mess, not noticing that the level of noise had greatly diminished. He walked up to the replicators, ordering a bowl of mixed Vulcan fruits and some spice tea. He noticed Jim ordering what appeared to be a Terran fruit salad and oatmeal cookies. Spock raised a brow at the rather confusing combination.

"Perhaps you should order something to balance out the high intake of dextrose in your meal, Captain?" he said as they moved towards one of the tables.

"What nonsense are you speaking? Sugar is my life!" Jim said theatrically as he put his tray down next to Scotty's, pulling out a chair. "Morning! How are you guys doing so far on this day of chocolate, roses and love?" he asked cheerily as Spock took the seat next to him, sitting just a bit closer than normal.

"I thought you hated Valentine's day, Keptin?" the young navigator asked, piercing a piece of fried sausage. "By the vay, did you know that St. Valentine vas originally from Russia?"

"I don't doubt your story, Chekov, but there was more than one St. Valentine, and yes, I do hate this awful day. But who knows, this one might shape up to be better than the last one I had all by my lonesome?" Jim said, eyeing the kupaty on the boy's plate jealously. "How about you, Scotty?"

The man smiled smugly as he bit into his roast beef sandwich. "I've got a date once shift's over." he said in between bites.

"Ooh, who is it?" Jim asked, picking up one of his cookies.

"I wouldn't be much of a gentleman if I began to kiss and tell, now would I?"

Jim rolled his eyes. "No fun. I'll figure it out anyway. How about you, Chekov? Chapel? You youngsters up to anything?"

"Keptin! Chapel and myself are not... inwolved!" the boy protests, a slight blush colouring his cheeks, making Jim's grin widen.

"Really Captain, it's none of your business one way or another, is it?" Chapel says as she dabs a napkin to her mouth. "Stop teasing the boy as you are well aware that I am going to spend my time off calling my fiancé, Roger Corby."

"But teasing is the only fun I can have as a Captain, don't take that away from me too, especially not since you went and got yourself engaged, Christine. How could you ever betray my undying love in such a way?" He makes his infamous 'puppy-eyes' at her, looking as sad as humanly possible while trying to suppress a grin the size of the Murasaki nebula.

"Don't even try it, James Kirk, or I _will_ have Dr. McCoy pull you in for a _very unnecessary_ and humiliating physical."

Jim straightens in his chair, unconsciously moving closer to Spock. "Okay, I give. Have fun with your boring scientist husband-to-be and tonight you'll dream about what could have been, and then you'll surely regret your duplicitous ways!"

Chapel gives him a frosty smile."Awfully big words for the baby-Captain. Did Spock teach you that or was it in your 'word of the day' calendar?"

Jim shot her his best scandalized look before turning to Spock. "Did you hear that? Insubordination!"

"That was not insubordination. If anything it would be classified as a case pertaining to Article 89, subsection 4A paragraph 15: Disrespect by acts includes neglecting the customary salute, or showing a marked disdain, indifference, insolence, impertinence, undue familiarity, or other rudeness in the presence of the superior officer." Spock said, voice monotonous, his attention focused on his meal.

"See! Hah! Totally an offence!" Jim said smugly, his left hand place next to his tray, almost touching Spock's. He smiled to himself as he inched his hand closer, brushing against Spock's fingers where it lay on the table. "I could have you court-martialed for that."

"It is unwise to threaten people with court-martial, Captain." Spock said, looking down on their hands for a moment before focusing his attention on the other occupants at the table, allowing the touch.

"Whatever. Bones would probably string me up by the balls in my sleep if I did anything." Jim chuckled.

"What about you, Keptin? Will you be having date tonight?" Chekov asks, owning his glass of milk before leaning back in the chair, looking very much like what Jim would be looking like had the stupid Vulcan not invoked a meat ban on today.

"Why? Are you offering, Chekov?" Jim asks, giving Chekov a sultry smile.

The boy immediately shakes his head. "Njet, Keptin."

"Relax, I was just joking. And to answer your question... maybe, if I can get an interesting date."

Spock stiffened, pulling away from Jim's touch. Picking up his tray he stood."Captain, if you are quite finished, we should report onto the bridge."

"Huh?" Jim looked down at his hand, wondering why it felt so cold all of a sudden, before standing up. "Sure. I'll see you guys, and lady, later."

Jim followed Spock's straight back towards the disposal unit before falling into stride beside him as they exit the mess.

Once the captain and his first officer were out of sight Chekov let out a breath. "Did you see how Commander Spock glare at me?" the boy whined. "Does he hate me now?"

"Relax, laddie. He's just a wee bit upset because the Captain's a natural flirt." Scotty said, slapping Chekov on the back, making the young Russian cough.

"Did you see the way they were touching?" Chapel exclaimed intently. "I mean, we were right _there_. I thought Spock's Vulcan 'personal space bubble' would implode, but he just sat there. I would guess they're too 'in lust' to care. I mean, wasn't it last Valentine's they got together?"

"Aye, when we were on that planet... Folnar II, I think." Scotty shook his head at the memory. "McCoy sure got his knickers in a twist that time."

"Vell, Commander Spock is _very_ scary when he glares. I have no time to talk more now, I also have to go to bridge." Chekov said, collecting his tray.

"Just keep out of Spock's way an' he won't notice ya'." Scotty called after the boy as he went toward the disposal units.

"I vill try." Chekov said before giving a small wave and walking out of the room.

OoOxXxOoO

"That was a most erroneous declaration." Spock's terse voice reverberated off the walls, making Jim jump in surprise.

"What was?" he asked, glad the tense silence was finally gone, replaced with... tense talking... yeah... _much_ better...

"Your statement about you being susceptible to inquiries of a personal nature."

Jim was confused at first before tentatively asking:"The one about the date? Why?"

"If we are to appear as a couple, would it not be prudent for you to _not_ accept other peoples' advances in favour of my own?" They walked slowly towards the turbolift. Thankfully they were alone in the hallway.

Jim rolled his eyes. "I was trying to refer to you, in an obscure, illogical human manner."

"I agree that it is illogical."

"Yeah, well, it didn't work, did it? We have to try again." Jim was growing frustrated; talking to Spock was like talking to a wall, sometimes.

"Indeed." Spock shot Jim a sideways glance of displeasure.

"Will you stop it?" Jim growled, stopping dead in the middle of the hallway.

"Cease what, Captain?"

"Stop looking at me like I'm some sort of gunk on the bottom of your shoe or something!"

"'Gunk', Captain?"

"Never mind." Jim sighed. "Come on, show me the smoulder. You can at least _try_ to look at me with _some_ sort of feeling!" he urged. He seriously doubted that people usually had to tell their 'partner' to look at them with affection instead of disdain and annoyance.

"I shall endeavour to do so, but I am unfamiliar with how one does so." Spock said, peering into Jim's eyes, trying to do what was asked of him, but failing miserably.

Jim laughed as Spock looked away, frustrated. The sound of laughter made him snap his head back, glaring at Jim.

"Now that's emotion from the wrong end of the spectrum. Try to think of something you love, or have fond memories of." Jim said as his laughter died out, trying to help the emotionally stunted man in front of him. Well, at least stunted in how to show emotion, if not feeling them altogether.

Closing his eyes, Spock thought of I-Chaya. Not his mother because that was still too painful a memory, but the large sehlat from his youth. The one he inherited from his father. The one who saved him from the le-matya, getting hurt while protecting him. The one who died because of his selfishness. The one whose undying loyalty reminded him very much of his Captain, his golden hair only a few shades brighter than that soft fur. He opened his eyes, peering right into astonishingly blue orbs.

Spock blinked.

"Wow, that was an improvement. No smoulder, but it'll do. Do it again, a bit longer this time." Jim said, impressed at the amount of emotion Spock actually managed to put into the look. He didn't quite want to acknowledge it to himself, but it almost made him weak in the knees.

"I believe the Terran saying goes 'You talk too much'." Spock said, catching Jim in between his arms as he placed his hands on either side of Jim's head, the bulkhead cool to the touch. Peering into Jim's eyes, Spock did not see the sapphire orbs of his captain, but the fuzzy face of the animal he once called a friend.

"Oh, and I suppose you can shut me up?" Jim's tone was amused, but there was an undertone of challenge to the words.

"I can," was all that Spock replied as he tried to focus his thoughts on I-Chaya.

"In a logical way, of course."

"True, but I have heard there are other... implements which deter one from verbal response."

Jim gasped, half for show, half... intrigued."Mr Spock, are you suggesting you might _gag_ me?"

"Perhaps, if I found it logical."

"Kinky."

Spock could not stop the exasperated sigh that tumbled from his lips as he peered into Jim's eyes, now sparkling with amusement. "Why do you insist on referring to sexual deviance at all times?"

The smile on Jim's face could only be described as _radiant_. "Because I like trying to elicit an emotional response from you."

"That would be illogical, as well as highly unlikely."

Jim shrugged. "Well, can't blame a guy for trying, right?"

"Indeed." Spock took a step back. The moment had been lost and he could no longer focus his emotions to emulate... smoulder...

They entered the turbolift, heading for the bridge.

Around the corner, Uhura waited for the two of them to leave. There was a small ache in her heart when she remembered the fond look in Spock's eyes as he watched the captain. She swallowed the lump in her throat. A look like that had never been directed at her during all her time with Spock. She felt a slight jealousy, but she knew it would pass as she was also happy for the two of them.

With so much hurting in both their lives, they both deserved someone to lean on.

She shook her head in annoyance. It had been a year, and the two of them still ran around the ship, being intimate and lovey-dovey and just so unbearably disgustingly in love. Hopefully they'd learn to keep it in their pants _sometime_ during their five year mission, or else she might just have to gather an intervention. She knew at least twenty other people who would be more than happy to join.

She could also understand Spock's desire to gag the Captain, even though she firmly told herself _not_ to go there.

OoOxXxOoO

Once they were on the bridge and their shift had begun, Jim did what he could to keep up the appearance of their (supposed) relationship. His eyes lingered on Spock just a bit longer than usual.

Otherwise nothing happened the entire first half of the shift. Five hours of absolutely _nothing_! He was startled awake by Spock's hand gently shaking him.

"Wha?" he mumbled, reaching up to wipe at the wet spot on his cheek.

"It is time for lunch, Captain." Spock informed him, hand still on Jim's shoulder.

Jim leaned into the touch. "Don't need it. Lemme sleep until the break is over."

"Negative Captain. I will accompany you to monitor your caloric intake, making sure you cease trying to consume as much sugar and fat as humanly possible." Spock said adamantly, his grip tightening just slightly.

"Yeah, yeah. Why am I so freaking tired, anyway?" Jim complained as he stood, all but leaning on Spock as he tried to wake up.

"I suspect the combination of too much dextrose based food and not getting an adequate amount of sleep are the underlying reasons for your fatigue."

"Well, thanks, doctor." Jim drawled, nuzzling into Spock's warm shoulder. "Only because I couldn't sleep on my back. I hate sleeping on my stomach."

"You seemed to have to difficulty sleeping on your side. May I ask why you did so?"

"Didn't want to put any pressure on my hip. I'm sure you understand." He looked up from Spock's shoulder, grinning at him.

Spock stiffened at the reminder of how his carelessness had injured the Captain. He would have to place his incense beads at a more appropriate location. "I apologize."

"Yeah, you should. I've told you a million times that desk is dangerous."

"I have never heard such a complaint before."

"Yeah, well, I would have had I known it was prone to mauling people!" Jim finally untangled himself from Spock, running a hand across his eyes.

"Captain, may I suggest we continue this conversation as we proceed to the mess, if we have to continue it at all." Spock placed an incredibly warm hand on Jim's back, almost making him want to fall asleep and cuddle up to the Vulcan heater.

Jim shook his head to get rid of such thoughts, as they walked toward the turbolift. "Fine. Let's go then." Once inside, Jim leaned against the wall, his shoulder touching Spock's.

There were two other passengers in the lift. Sulu and helmsman Lee, talking to each other in some Asian language. Chinese or Japanese, Jim guessed.

They might as well give them a small display of physical affection between him and Spock to solidify any rumours that might have begun to surface so far.

He reached for Spock's hand, gently tracing the outline of his fingers, fascinated by the small sparks of electricity coursing throughout him.

He felt Spock stiffen beside him, so Jim moved to let go of his fingers with a slight sigh. Spock surprised him by entwining their fingers.

Jim smiled at Spock who merely raised an eyebrow. They kept holding hands until the lift door openeds and Jim and Spock exited.

After the door closed Sulu gave Lee a look. "That was practically a full-blown makeout session for Vulcans, you know."

Lee nodded. "It seems they are intent on finally going public."

"Thank god. It's bad enough that we have to suffer their pining looks on the bridge, but the badly veiled attempts at trying to 'hide¨their relationship were driving me crazy. They know we know, and we know they know we know, so they should just get on with it and tell everyone." Sulu sighed.

"If only the junior officers knew..." Lee chuckled, turning back to his report.

Sulu agreed. "Yeah, if only."

OoOxXxOoO

"God!" Jim sighed. " Are those two blind or something?"

"It was most unfortunate that they did not appear to notice our endeavours. We shall have to try anew."

Jim groaned. "But _how_? We were touching at breakfast, but no one seemed to notice. We can't keep on doing the same thing."

"Indeed, implementing a strategy which has previously proven unsuccessful would be illogical." Spock agreed.

"The we should try another approach. No more trying to be subtle. We need to do something they can't ignore!" Frustration was beginning to permeate him. How come nothing was ever simple when he wanted to do something?

"Should we proceed to the mess?"

Jim shook his head."No, let's eat in my quarters. I'll call Rand to bring us the... oh!" He suddenly went silent, his mind trying to process the thought springing into his mind. He then turned to face Spock. "We'll have Rand catch us 'in the act', so to speak. She'll never be able to be quiet."

"Very well." He inclined his head at Jim's suggestion and they made their way to the captain's quarters. Jim was too tired to order for himself, so he told Spock to give him 'whatever's edible'.

After placing their orders, Spock sat down on the lounge chair opposite to the small couch Jim was currently draped on, only separated by the small coffee-table in between them.

Jim looked up from his sprawled position, tired eyes watching Spock. "How about you get over here and we can arrange a little more physical display?"

"Negative, Captain. It would be illogical to begin sexual congress as our meals will arrive shortly."

Jim stood up. Walking over to stand in front of Spock's chair he loomed over the seated Vulcan. Or at least he tried to. "Do you Vulcans do _anything_ sexual at all? Except touching fingers? I mean, it's a wonder the Vulcan race hasn't died out from lack of procreating if everyone is such a frigid bas...mmph!"

Jim was silenced as Spock grabbed one of his arms, pulling the Captain into his lap, pressing their lips firmly together. At Jim's weak push at his chest, Spock pulled back. "I hear someone approaching."

Jim barely had time to register the words before their lips collided once more.

Whatever Jim had thought it might be like to kiss Spock, not that he had ever thought about it, really(!), he had been wrong.

This was nothing like the slow, sweet kiss he had witnessed between Spock and Uhura on the transporter pad a little over a year earlier.

This kiss was... _searing_. It was the only way he would ever be able to describe it. Spock's impossibly hot tongue against his own as it gently, but firmly stroked his, making Jim moan just slightly, parting his lips wider.

The kiss seemed to go on for forever, but when they separated after several long minutes, Jim breathing heavily, there was no one else in the room.

Jim frowned, forcing his breathing to go back to normal. "Huh? Didn't Rand get here yet?"

Spock cleared his throat. "It appears I merely heard someone passing by. I apologize."

"It's okay. At least I got a half-decent kiss out of it." He smiled. Oh, Jimmy. How you lie to yourself he though. That kiss was _far_ more than just decent.

Before Spock could answer, Janice Rand walked inside, carrying a large tray. "Captain, Commander." She said, immediately beginning to set the meals onto Jim's desk, leaving with a nod once she was done. Not even glancing at the two men occupying the same chair.

As the doors closed Jim groaned, letting his head fall onto Spock's shoulder. "That didn't work. Why?" He was whining now, but he didn't care. He straightened, looking into Spock's eyes. "I had assumed that me sitting in your lap would provoke _some_ sort of reaction."

"I am growing increasingly fascinated with the lack of response to our displays. It would seem the crew needs additional training in perceptiveness, Captain."

"You have no idea." Jim laughed.

On her way back to the mess Janice Rand cursed her horndog Captain and his First Officer as none of them had the decency to wait until _after_ their lunch had been served before jumping each other, saving her from having to walk in on them.

Thank god she hadn't dropped the tray when the door opened, revealing the Captain in Spock's lap, sharing a particularly _enthusiastic_ kiss.

She had immediately retreated a few paces, watching as the doors slid close, hiding them both from view. She had then waited a full three minutes before stomping towards the door as loudly she could to alert them of her presence before going inside.

Thank god they had at least stopped kissing.

OoOxXxOoO

As they ate their meals, they discussed whom they should 'perform' before to get the most satisfactory response.

"Dr. McCoy would be a particularly verbal candidate." Spock suggested, as he pierced a piece of tuber root with his fork.

"He sure would make a fuss. Possibly even get an aneurysm in the mile of one of his lectures." Jim said, glaring at the plate in front of him as if it had insulted the size of his penis. "Are you actually serious in making me eat this?" he asked, poking his vegetarian sem'hal stew with his spoon.

Spock gave the Captain a look that suggested it was usually reserved for especially petulant children. "It is a proper combination of protein, carbohydrates and unsaturated fats. You should eat up. You will feel better after eating."

"Unless it kills me first." He removed the spoon from the bowl, it was now covered in a dark sauce-like substance. He held it in front of his mouth, his tongue sneaking out to place a tentative lick on the metal utensil. After a few loud smacks, the spoon was dipped into the bowl, this time a small portion of stew actually on the spoon as Jim closed his lips around it.

Spock tore his glaze away from the Captain as the man began to eat his meal in a most_ unsuitable_ manner.

The rest of the meal was silent, apart from the occasional noises from Jim as he started on his desert, algae puffs.

"If you excuse me, Captain, I will take my leave. I will see you on the bridge once the shift begins." Spock stood up, inclining his head slightly before moving to leave.

"Sure. See you then."

After Spock had retreated from his quarters, Jim stretched his hands over his head, stretching his tired muscles. With a groan he flopped back onto the couch. It hadn't looked very appetizing, but he had to admit that Spock sure knew what Jim liked. At least food-wise. Although the algae puffs had a slight after taste, he had enjoyed his lunch. Even the company had been pleasant, not to mention their activities prior to the meal had been... _interesting_.

He groaned as he felt the lower half of his body stir. It had been too long since the last time, and now he didn't have the time to take care of it. He sighed and tried to picture something.. anything... to make the physical reaction to this days events go away. After a few minutes, some _very_ disturbing mind-pictures of Keenser in a bikini had done the trick.

He decided he might as well go back to the bridge as he had nothing better to do than count the minutes until the end of shift.

There were a few people who had already been relieved when he walked onto the bridge. Although Spock was not one of them, and Jim felt a small pang of disappointment that he quickly shook off.

He relieved the officer in charge of the bridge and took his seat, patiently waiting.

Twenty minutes later he was no longer waiting patiently. That ship sailed eighteen minutes ago. He was now thrumming his fingers irritably against the armrest of his chair. Shift started ten minutes ago, and Spock was nowhere to be seen. He growled in annoyance as an ensign walked out of the turbolift instead of his First Officer. "Hey, you!" he called out to the young man who stiffened and slowly turned around.

"I-I'm terribly sorry for being late, Captain... It won't happen again." the man stammered, eyes wide in horror, as if he could feel Jim's annoyance.

Or the man was hiding something.

It was a totally illogical feeling but his gut told him there was more to the ensign's nervousness than just being tardy. Jim narrowed his eyes. "Have you seen Mr. Spock?"

The man visibly flinched, avoiding eye contact. "Um... no?"

Jim stood up and walked over to the now cowering ensign. "Where is he?" he demanded, voice dangerously low.

That did it. The man cracked. A stream of words flowed from his lips and Jim had to strain his ears to be able to hear anything but a jumbled mess.

"." The man looked just about to pass out from lack of breath, but Jim was too focused on what he had heard. Spock and yeoman Bates. Kissing. His hands formed into fists as he clenched his fingers info his palms, nails digging into the flesh.

He said nothing as he returned to his chair, his eyes darkening by the minute.

The next few minutes passed at an excruciatingly slow pace, and Jim had had ample time to work himself into quite a state. How dare Spock kiss some floozy and ruin their plan? He had a thing or two to explain to his dear first officer.

The bridge held a collective breath as Spock walked out of the turbolift.

"Finally here, Mr. Spock?" Jim asked, his tone clipped.

"I apologize for my tardiness Captain, I was... held up."

Jim clenched his teeth, standing up he approaches Spock. "I bet you were."

"Captain?"

"Don't you 'Captain' me! You can do whatever the _hell_ you want with your yeoman as long as it doesn't interfere with your duties, _Mr_. Spock!" Jim growled, crossing his arms over his chest, a challenging glare directed at Spock.

"I can assure you, what I wanted had nothing to do with any incident concerning yeoman Bates. She caught me by surprise."

"Then you should report her instead of sticking your tongue down her throat!" Jim shots back.

"I did no such thing, Captain. While we are on the subject, I would advise you to report those who not only propositioned you, but also grabbed your posterior. If you allow such blatant acts of sexual harassment it would seem that you are indeed more torpid than your physical volume indicates."

"'Did you just say that I'm stupider than I look?" Before Jim gave Spock a chance to answer, he continues his tirade. "God! I am so fucking tired of you and your god damned Vulcan attitude, you pointy-eared bastard!"

Just as Spock was about to respond, the rather loud sound of someone clearing their throat theatrically halted him.

"Boys, you _do_ know that you're still on the bridge now?" Uhura said, doing a grave impression of a Vulcan as her face was void of any emotion.

Jim instantly grew red, his face a deep crimson. "Um.. I... we..." he stammered. This was so embarrassing! But wait, wasn't this a good thing? Maybe they'd believe their fight was more than just one of their usual arguments. Yes, this might even be excellent.

"You should wait until after hours to agree about who got asked out the most." Uhura said with a disinterested voice before turning back to her console.

Or not. This might just be another horrible, humiliating event that made up the experiences of Jim's life. They had clearly not drawn any conclusions to the favour of their endeavours.

God damn it! Why didn't people ever misunderstand when they were supposed to?

Jim and Spock returned to their duties, neither of them noticing Uhura's eye roll or how Sulu leaned over and whispered something in Japanese to Chekov, who giggled in response.

The rest of the shift was uneventful, and as soon as his relief entered, James made a beeline for the turbolift, ignoring Sock as the man followed him.

Once the door shut, Chekov turned to Sulu, a gin on his face. "You owe me thirty credits."

"Whatever. _You're_ bringing the snacks." Sulu grumbled, pointedly not looking at Chekov's smug face.

Chekov just smiled.

"Hopefully they'll be able to keep it in their pants long enough for them to reach their quarters. I seriously thought they'd jump each other right there on the bridge earlier." Kevin Riley said as he stands up from his console. "Hey, Sulu, was the movie-night in rec room three or five?"

Looking over his shoulder Sulu smiled. "Three. I'm pretty sure I managed to catch the essence of Valentine's with this movie."

"Awesome."

OoOxXxOoO

Spock quietly followed his Captain as said man 'stormed' down the corridors. Soon they ended up outside the sickbay.

"Captain."

Jim ignored him.

"Captain." Spock said again, this time his voice more urgent.

Still not paying any attention to Spock, Jim opened the doors. No one was inside. He groaned and took a step forward, towards McCoy's office.

Spock reached out and grabbed his wrist, making Jim turn around to face him. "Jim," Spock said as he trapped his Captain against a biobed.

"What do you want?" He didn't raise his head, not daring to look into Spock's eyes.

"If you are upset over what transpired on the bridge, my unseemly behaviour, I apologize. It was not becoming of a StarFleet officer."

Jim shook his head. "No, Spock. That's not it. I'm more mad at myself." Jim sighed. "I'm mad at myself because I reacted like a child. I mean, I was a bit pissed about our... arrangement and how that was going to hell in a hand basket since you and Bates were sucking face and all, but then I got mad at myself. I mean, how could I be so selfish? If you and Bates like each other I should be the first one to..." he was cut off by the large, warm hand over his mouth.

"I apologize for my forwardness, Captain, but it seemed like the only way to silence you." Spock said, eyebrow raised. "If you would permit me to 'get a word in edgewise', I will explain about Bates and myself. She 'cornered' me before the start of the shift, began talking and eventually 'threw herself at me', as I believe the Terran saying goes. I have no interest in yeoman Bates. Furthermore, when I enter an agreement I honour it until the terms have been fulfilled."

"I'm sorry about before. I'm a bit fast in jumping to conclusions sometimes." He smiled apologetically before continuing "So, how about we continue where we left off earlier?"

Jim had just enough time to flash one of his signature cocky grins before his lips were once more covered by Spock's.

The wonderful sensation of impossibly warm lips upon his own made Jim part his lips instantly. Right now he didn't care about the fight, Valentine's, or even about the Enterprise. Nothing except the exquisite feel of Spock's tongue gently moving against his own.

He could feel his blood begin to heat up as he was enveloped by strong, warm arms. He moved his own arms so they rested on Spock's shoulders, his hand tangling into silky ebony tresses, pushing Spock closer.

Jim had a moment of surprise as he was effortlessly picked up and placed on the biobed. After the initial shock, Jim spread his legs and wrapped them around Spock's hips.

The kiss went from eager to _desperate_. Soon Jim's golden shirt had been tossed across the room, Spock's hands already tugging on the black tee underneath, his mouth working on a sizeable hickey at the juncture of Jim's neck an shoulders.

Jim gasped as the Vulcan bit down on the already abused flesh, leaving a clear mark behind.

It was possible Jim had never been so turned on in his entire life, and he desperately needed more. Much more.

"God, Spock." he said breathlessly, tilting his head to give Spock better access.

Then, all of a sudden, that wonderful burning sensation was quite literally washed away by an icy flood.

"What the _hell_?" he spluttered, wiping the cold water out of his face. He looked over at Spock who was now glaring at someone, anger burning deep in his eyes. Well, for Spock, anyway. A tiny flicker of anger, deep, deep within those dark pools for anyone else.

The expression in Spock's eyes made Jim shiver. Although if anyone were to ask, he would vehemently claim it was from the icy water.

He then turned to glare at the _very_ smug Leonard McCoy, holding a now-empty bucket..

"Bones." Jim growls.

McCoy simply shot him an annoyed look in response. "Don't you 'Bones' me! This is the sickbay, not your god-damned love nest! I, for one, have _no_ interest in watching you two go at it like a pair of rabbits in heat. Get out of my damned sickbay!" He pulled Jim off of the biobed, pushing the both of them out of the door.

Jim frowned at Spock, about to speak when the door opened once more, a shirt hitting Jim squarely in the face.

"Take yer god damn clothes with you! Oh, and Spock, I know you guys wanna have angry makeup-sex after your quite unprofessional display on the bridge, but take it easy on Princess over there. He could barely sit today as it is." With those words of wisdom, McCoy closed the doors on two stunned officers. One whose face had begun to mimic the colour of a boiled lobster, the other now sporting a green tint to his normally pale cheeks.

Jim opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before he finally was able to once again formulate words. "Um... it seems as if Bones took the bait..." It was all he could say as he pulled the shirt over his head, manoeuvring his arms into the sleeves.

"He also seems to have misunderstood your injuries from yesterday, though I must admit they worked in our favour."

"Yeah. I thought he knew I'd been involved in another freak accident, he even had me quote the rules and all..." Suddenly it was as if someone had turned a switch on, Jim's face paled as he buried his face in his hands. "Sure, the rules. God, I'm so _stupid_!"

"Captain?"

"The rules, Spock. Bones made them up while we were still in the Academy. He won't heal injuries I get from either A: being a stupid idiot, or B: Sex." At Spock's raised eyebrow Jim just waves a hand dismissively before continuing. "Don't ask. Anyway, he won't fix me up unless it's dangerous, making me 'think about my behaviour and suffer the consequences'. Or something like that. Yesterday when I told him about your evil desk of Doom, he must have thought I got injured while having _sex_ on your desk."

"It sounds plausible." Spock said as they began to walk down the hallway.

"Yeah. I need to change out of these soaked clothes, and I suspect you're not too comfortable either. How about you meet up with me here in half an hour, and we'll head to Sulu's movie-night?" The soaked clothes made him shiver slightly, rubbing his hands over his arms, trying to get warm, but failing.

"I will be back shortly." Spock nodded, continuing down the corridor, leaving Jim outside his quarters.

With a sigh Jim entered the room, getting out of his wet clothes as fast as he could while stumbling into the bathroom. He dove into the shower, opting for water over sonic, desperate to feel the warm sprays cascading down his body.

He stood there, hands on the tiled wall, head bent as he tried to get his emotions under control. For a minute he'd believed that Spock had kissed him because he wanted to, not because his stupid Vulcan ears had heard someone being close by. He cursed himself for being so foolish, desperately wanting to reach down and give into his body's desires, but how could he do that while imagining it was Spock's warm, strong hand instead of his own that brought him to the peak of pleasure?

He would never be able to look Spock in the eye again.

Jim shook his head. reaching for the dispenser of shampoo he began to vigorously rub it into his scalp.

Twenty minutes later Jim was ready, waiting for Spock outside the cabin. He saw his First Officer rounding a corner and walked up to him. "Let's go to rec room three. Sulu's supposedly found the 'ultimate' Valentine's movie." Jim shook his head at Spock's doubtful look. "You don't have to like it. Just sit there and watch. I'll let you point out the illogical parts to me once the movie is finished."

Without waiting for a response Jim began walking. Soon they were on the right deck, just about to turn a corner when Jim heard his name being mentioned. He pulled Spock to a halt, motioning for him to be silent. The Vulcan merely raised an eyebrow, but did as he was told.

"You know, Nyota, watching them making goo-goo eyes at each other is a hell of a lot better than walking in on them as they're trying to suck each others faces off. I almost dropped my tray!" Rand groans.

"Zey were hand-making out in the mess this morning." Chekov adds, his voice soft, but clearly amused.

"I know it's Valentine's and all, but they've been together for a year already, shouldn't their lovey-dovey attitude be diminishing by now? One would think they'd be able to keep their hands to themselves until their own rooms at least." McCoy growls. "If I ever find them in my sickbay again, I'll do a _hell_ of a lot more than throw a bucket of water at them."

"I was afraid we'd get a live display of mansex on the bridge, earlier. I'm thankful you stopped them from jumping each other, Uhura." Jim was unsure who it was, but he though the laughing voice sounded like Kevin Riley.

"Their little display cost me thirty credits." Came the voice of Sulu, sulking tone clearly audible.

Chekov laughed. "You are just mad you lose."

"It's not my fault I believed Spock would _never_ lower himself to such human behaviour as to argue with his lover in public!" Sulu pointed out.

"But you vere wrong. You owe me."

"Boys, it's not nice to gamble on a couple's happiness."

"Whatever, Uhura. I know for a fact that you and Chapel had a bet going whether they would fight in the mess or planetside. Spare me your fake sermons. Me and Chekov were at least open about it."

"Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the time when I found a bruise on Jim's neck, and he claimed it was made by a leech on the planet we were exploring. But when I ran the tricorder, all I could find were traces of Vulcan saliva."

The laughter that followed went on for several minutes, gasps of breath being heard.

"Is that why you called the Commander a leech for two weeks last year?" Sulu chokes out before falling into another fit of laughter.

"Yeah, I don't think he ever saw the humour in it though."

"He wouldn't. Hey, I knew Vulcans were possessive over their mates, but I never thought I'd see the day when Captain James T. Kirk got jealous of someone." Riley said.

"I can't say I'm surprised, though," McCoy drawled. "When Jim has something he wants, he'll rather die trying to protect it than have it taken from him. Apparently this applies to Spock."

"Hm." Sulu grunted. "I thought you would be the one most against them hooking up. Weren't you and the Captain...?"

"God no!" McCoy exclaimed, probably a grimace on his face as the sound of laughter once again filled the air. "Jim and I were never like that. And I might not love the bastard hobgoblin, but I respect him. He's a damn fine officer and if he makes Jim happy, that's all that counts. Jim's been a lot happier this last year than I've ever seen him, and if that's thanks to him and Spock... getting it on, so be it."

"But how did they get together? When I got transferred here they were already a couple, right?" Riley asked. "I got assigned here six months ago, so how long have they been dating?"

"Last Valentine's we were on shore leave on Folnar II. The Captain was being chatted up by this Orion girl, then Spock suddenly walks up, grabs the Captain and tells the girl 'not to touch what is not hers to touch'. He then drags the Captain out of the bar. The next morning Janice goes to tell Spock that the Captain isn't in his quarters and finds them tangled up in bed together." Uhura said.

"Spock said that?" The surprise was evident in Riley's voice.

"In less friendly words and in Orion, but that was the gist of it." She chuckles at the memory before continuing. "Kirk was also seen walking back to his cabin dressed in one of Spock's blue shirts, limping. The fact that he didn't look Spock in the eye for two weeks was also a dead giveaway. Then they began with their 'chess' games."

Bones growled. "Yeah, and then Jim began running to me, bragging about his latest wounds and bruises. I told him I'd rather repeatedly stab myself in the eye with a hypo than listening to his stupid sexploits, not that it ever shut him up. Yesterday he came to me and complained about being mauled by Spock's desk."

"Keptin is hurt?"

"Not really. My guess is they got a little too _enthusiastic_ on Spock's desk and Jim, being the idiot he is, can't sit properly today."

"Didn't Keptin say he is coming, yes?"

McCoy scoffed. "Don't get your hopes up, kid, they're probably having angry makeup-sex right about now."

"Great. Then he'll fidget in his chair for a week again." Sulu groaned.

"Tha's young love, laddie. Unable ta keep yer hands off of each other" Scotty grinned.

"Whatever, I'm starting the movie. It's an old one, but it sums up my feelings about Valentine's." Sulu said, presumably starting the movie.

"Valentine, bloody Valentine? Are you kidding me?" Uhura protested.

"As I said, my feelings about Valentine's! Don't wanna watch, then leave. Now be quiet it's starting."

There was a collective groan, but as no one exited the room, they had apparently resigned themselves to an evening of blood and murders.

Jim, who had leaned against the wall, straightened up, looking over at Spock. Neither quite believing what they had heard. People thought they had been fucking for a _year_? Why had no one said anything?

He knew there had to have been some _major_ misunderstandings, but how the _hell_ had they ended up with that kind of warped picture.

They returned to Jim's quarters to be able to talk about this new revelation without being disturbed or overheard. They stood in silence for a few long minutes, neither of them knowing what to say. Finally Jim sighed.

"It seems our whole plan was redundant."

"So it seems."

"But why does people keep propositioning me if they all believe we're fucking?"

"Not everyone respects the boundaries of relationships."

"God!" Jim, not knowing what to do with himself began pacing. "Bones has apparently misunderstood every time I've told him about a bruise. No wonder he kept citing the rule! And the leech! There totally was a leech! You remember it, right? Please tell me I didn't imagine the whole thing!"

"You were indeed attacked by a leech-like creature on Xerxes II" Spock reassured him.

"Fantastic." Jim muttered. "Do you know what pisses me off the most?"

"Enlighten me."

"That people says I've been having regular sex for almost a year, when I really haven't gotten laid since before the 'Kobayashi Maru'." Jim pouted. "Fiction sure surpasses reality."

Spock's eyebrow rose in surprise. "That does seem like a prolonged period of time for someone of your... indiscriminate nature."

Jim's eyes flashed with anger. "You calling me a whore?"

"Negative, Captain."

"Stop calling me 'Captain'!" Jim stalked over, grabbing Spock's shirt with both his fists, glaring into dark, impossibly deep eyes. "It's Jim. Do you hear me? Jim!"

"Loud and clear." Spock said calmly, as if there wasn't an upset man currently fisting the collar of his shirt.

"Then say it." Jim hissed. At Spock's stubborn silence he growled. "Say it, damn it!"

"Jim." Spock's voice was low, slightly breathless, but Jim had no time to analyze it because their mouths were suddenly locked in a frantic caress. Lips hungry, parting to let wandering tongues tangle, trying to get as close as humanly, or inhumanly, possible.

Jim's hands released the collar of Spock's shirt, his hands running down the solid chest before tugging the hem upwards, motioning for Spock to remove the offensive garment.

Spock willingly lifted his arms, shedding both of his shirts at once before pulling Jim's tunic above his head. He threw the garment over his shoulder, not caring where it landed as he dipped his head to run a tongue across Jim's left nipple, making him gasp and bury a hand in Spock's hair.

He trailed kisses up from Jim's chest until he once more found those wonderful lips parting eagerly as his tongue begged for access. Jim wrapped his arms around Spock's neck, pulling them both towards the bed, as the back of Spock's legs hit the edge Jim leaned forward, pushing Spock onto his back as they tumbled onto the bed, lips still locked in a searing kiss.

With enormous effort, Jim pulled away from the kiss. Sitting back on Spock's legs he peered into the now lust-filled eyes of his First Officer. "Have you come to a conclusion an the matter of kissing me?" Jim teased. "Is the thought still disturbing?"

"Right now," Spock said, licking his lips as he meets Jim's gaze, "I find the experience quite appealing, although I believe you to be far too coherent for the occasion, Captain."

Jim let the title slide for now, firing a smug smile at Spock. "Well then. How about you shut me up?"

In an instant Jim found himself on his back, pinned to the bed as Spock took possession of his lips once again.

Jim's arms immediately reached up to wrap around Spock's shoulders; one of Spock's hands reached underneath him, grabbing Jim's ass, pushing their clothed groins together. Both of their now rock-hard erections strained against the fabric of their underwear and regulation pants, making them both moan into the kiss.

"Pants... take off..." Jim gasped, raising his hips to get more of that delicious friction.

Spock obliged and all but ripped the pants off of Jim's body, removing his own swiftly before once more diving into the kiss. His breath hitched as Jim reached in between them, grabbing both of their hard cocks in his hand, the taut, silky skin over both their hardness's touching made him shudder in delicious anticipation.

Some time later, when Jim returned to reality after his mind-blowing orgasm, he looked at Spock lying next to him, stony face in place. So different from the passionate lover from just a minute ago. "So, where do we go from here?" He almost didn't dare to ask. What did _he_ want?

Spock's face revealed nothing as he spoke. "It is uncommon, but sometimes a Vulcan _does_ have 'casual' sex. This does not have to interfere with our current relationship."

"Oh," Jim's face fell for a second before his usual grin returned. "Yeah, sure. Just some casual sex. Nothing more. Awesome." He threw the covers off, standing up he could feel the impact their activities had had on his body. He flinched as he tried not to limp as he walked to the bathroom, feeling sick from the feeling of Spock's sperm running own the inside of his thigh.

He stepped into the shower, turning the water temperature to as near scalding as he could handle, desperate for the water to wash away the oncoming wave of nausea. Just casual. What had he expected? There was no way someone like Spock would want someone as broken and fucked up as him.

He forced back the tears, rubbing furiously at his eyes before reaching for the soap dispenser, determined to scrub away any trace of Spock from his body.

Jim emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam, a towel dangling low on slim hips. He ignored Spock who was now sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard, his arm placed on a raised knee, and moved towards his dresser. He pulled out a pair of boxers from the top left drawer before stepping into them, pulling off the towel. He then flung the towel towards the laundry chute with more force than necessary.

"I have offended you with my suggestion." Spock said from his perch on the bed, observing how Jim turned around, hopping on one leg as he pulled his pants over his hips.

"No shit! Yeah you did, but it's fine. Whatever you want." Jim said as he tried to button his pants, his fingers fumbling. "Shit! Why is this so damned difficult?"

"Do you require assistance?"

"I'm not talking about the damned pants!" Jim spat, glaring at Spock. "I'm just amazed at how every last one of my relationships are doomed before they even get a chance. I'm not saying I want some relationship with you, not devotion or marriage or anything. I don't love you, hell, half the time I find you annoying as hell, but I do _like_ you. It annoys me that you didn't even consider, not even for a second, that I might actually want anything else but a quick fuck. That I might want to try and see if it works. For real. Our bodies are compatible enough, and you sure seemed to enjoy your little mind-trick. But fine! You don't want some emotionally scarred slut with daddy-issues and abandonment anxiety, so let's just pretend this _never_ happened."

As Spock remained perfectly still, not saying anything, Jim sighed, sinking onto the floor. He hugged his knees to his chest, wincing at the pain before closing his eyes in defeat.

"Look, I'm sorry I freaked out. You're a good friend and an excellent First Officer, and I don't want to ruin that, so please ignore me and my humiliatingly emotional outburst just now." Jim heard the soft but determined steps of Spock, sure he was about to leave when they stopped in front of him. He opened his eyes, looking up. His eyes widened as he was met by an eyeful of a _very_ naked Vulcan, and _very _erect cock.

Jim was speechless as Spock reached down, lifting him into his arms and walking back to the bed, placing Jim gently on the rumpled sheets.

"I apologize, my previous statement was not meant to upset you. I was merely trying to make you feel at ease about what transpired between us. I thought it would be the most logical approach once your previous amorous encounters were taken into consideration." Spock said, his voice soft and his face positively bursting with emotion.

Jim was taken aback by the sheer emotion in Spock's face. He had never seen his First Officer this emotional since the look of anger and hatred when he had tried to strangle Jim. "Spock, don't feel like you have to force yourself into something you don't want just because I freaked out. I..." he was soon silenced by Spock's urgent lips upon his own.

"Jim, Vulcans are never 'pressured' into anything. I share your earlier sentiment. I do not love you, but it seems that I hold a greater affection towards you than I had initially thought." Spock's voice was earnest and his gaze soft as he cupped Jim's cheeks in his hands, placing a tender kiss on his lips before continuing. "We are highly compatible, both in body and in mind. I would not be averse to pursuing a romantic relationship with you if you are willing to accept me in turn."

"Yes, Spock, I'm willing." The bright smile on Jim's lips reminded him of his beloved Vulcan sun as it filled him with a warmth he had not felt in years.

"To coin a phrase, 'awesome'." Spock said as he proceeded to push Jim onto his back, covering his body with his own. "I do believe you are too dressed for the occasion, Captain."

Laughter sparkled in Jim's eyes as he leaned up to press a chaste kiss against Spock's lips. "Then undress me, Mr. Spock."

"Aye, aye, Captain."

OoOxXxOoO

A few hours later Jim woke up, his face in the crook of Spock's neck. A small smile played on his lips and he took a deep breath.

"Spock?"

"Yes?" came the sleepy reply, Spock not opening his eyes, but Jim smiled as the arm around him tightened.

"I know you don't celebrate or anything, but happy Valentine's." Jim said as he snuggled closer, Spock's warmth absolutely addicting.

"Indeed. Happy deceased saints day to you too, Jim."

Snickering, Jim playfully bit Spock's shoulder. "Shut up. There's no reason to be sarcastic. C'mon, kiss me, I'm too tired to move."

"My pleasure."

As Jim felt Spock's lips upon his own, he was filled by the feeling that this might work. It probably wouldn't be easy, but then again, nothing worth it ever is.

The End.


	2. Prequel and sequel information

Thank you all for reading and commenting on 'The Plan'.

I would only like to inform the ones who have put this story on their 'alert'-lists that the prequel: 'A Series Of Unfortunate Misunderstandings' is now up. As I post this, I am currently in the works of updating the third chapter to the story.

I also want to tell everyone that found this story entertaining that I am planning a sequel once 'ASOUM' is finished.

All of your reviews have been greatly appreciated and I take great pride in that so many people have enjoyed reading my story.

Thank you all once again for reading, and I hope some of you will find my other stories as entertaining.

Love/ Joe


End file.
